"MYSTERY" - Brooke Fraser

VERSE 1
I wanna get Your words stuck in my head
I wanna touch Your soul with mine
I want to always be, be by Your lead always
I wanna know that You hung the stars in the sky
So on lonely nights I would know Your presence
I wanna feel Your love under my skin, down through my bones

CHORUS
Your love endures forever
Your love changes me
Your love makes me whole, makes me better
Your love endures

VERSE 2
I wanna feel the wind and know that You're near me
And see in the seasons Your mystery
I wanna feel Your love flow through my veins
Pound through my heart

CHORUS
Your love endures forever
Your love changes me
Your love makes me whole, makes me better

BRIDGE
And I want to know how this could be
Yet Your love remains a mystery
That's woven all the way
That's woven all the way
That's woven all the way through me

CHORUS
Your love endures forever
Your love changes me
Your love makes me whole, makes me better
Your love endures

______________________________________________________________

I've yet to learn how to deal with unpredictability regarding things that I used to think are supposed to be within my grasp and within my self-drawn boundaries of predictability. I guess we've all been there long enough to know that unpredictability is part of this wild ride that we all willingly hopped on? But it certainly feels like this unpredictable predicament only seems to affect me the most. I know I'm a high C through and through in this situation.

On a brighter note, I came to a decision about the 3 job offers on Sunday. I think I already knew what I wanted during the last interview that I went to on Friday. But I had to come before God to ask Him what He wanted for me. And He brought me to page 238 of "The Purpose-Driven Life".

God has given each of us a unique emotional "heartbeat" that races when we think about the subjects, activities, or circumstances that interest us. We instinctively care about some things and not about others. These are clues to where you should be serving.

Another word for heart is passion. There are certain subjects you feel passionate about and others you couldn't care less about. Some experiences turn you on and capture your attention while others turn you off or bore you to tears. These reveal the nature of your heart.

When you were growing up, you may have discovered that you were intensely interested in some subjects that no one else in your family cared about. Where did those interests come from? They came from God. God had a purpose in giving you these inborn interests. Your emotional heartbeat tis the second key to understand your shape for service. Don't ignore your interests. Consider how they might be used for God's glory. There is a reason that you love to do these things.

Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.                        

                                                                                                                               - Gil Bailie

Psalm 37:3-6

Trust in the Lord and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Delight yourself in the Lord

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Before embarking on my job search, I realized I had many fears about this new phase of life. Fear of my own inability and lack of fantastic academic achievements. Fear of having to read rejection letters (so far I've received only 1 and it's not as bad as it seems). Fear of entering the workforce. Fear of becoming just another 9-to-5 office worker who doesn't find purpose in his/her work and doesn't know where he/she is heading toward in this life that he/she has been blessed with. Fear of dreading the coming of every morning and the having to drag your feet to the office in the CBD area (I have never been a fan of conformity nor the typical boring office life even though work clothes can be refreshingly fashionable). Fear of being stuck in a job that I really hate but yet have to stick with for the sake of the meagre income it provides. Fear of not knowing God's purpose for my life and taking up a job without knowing God's will for me through that career.

It's been almost a month since I started looking for a job and God has proven that all these fears are unwarranted. I am starting to see where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. I am so much more than excited.

I really don't know what I would do if You are not in my life. I cannot imagine living like that. Life would be purposeless and I know it. I know it from the years that I ran away from You. The years in which I realized that You have so much more planned for me than I had wanted at that time and refused to take up because I was wilful and simply did not want to come back to take up what I saw as a burdensome responsibility.

But now I know where He wants me to go. :D