This is my country

As I was spending quiet time with God yesterday, I came to a realization: there is no place else that I'd rather call home than Singapore.

It wasn't long ago when I fancied migrating to the States, dying my hair blonde, undergoing drastic plastic surgery to change my Asian looks for a Caucasian face, and wearing blue contacts for the rest of my life. I am serious. I was bent on it. I decided on this in Sec 2. Even if it meant leaving my family behind. Because I was unhappy here. I wanted to live like an American. I wanted to know how it feels like to be white.

But ever since I came back to God in 2006, I have come to find more and more reasons to continue living in Singapore. This is my home. This is where God decided to bring me into this world. This is where He had planned for me to grow up, where He has planned for me to rise up, where He has planned for me to do His work, where He has planned for me to lead my life. This is where I am meant to be. This is where, along with everyone in my generation, we will rise up to lead the Church of Asia (I know I sound like I am crazy and in psy-speak - I seem like I "possess ideas of grandeur" - but those who know the truth know I'm not).

Singapore, as every true Singaporean (aged at least 18 and above) should know, struggled in her beginnings as a small fishing village, no one believed that we could make it. But God made it happen - "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are." (2 Corinthians 1:27-28). It's a miracle that such a small nation has transformed into a metropolitan city. It is by His grace and blessing that we've become who we are.

This is how I know I was chosen by God to be born in this place. To be blessed by Him this way. He wants me to grow to love this country once again, just like I did when I was ignorant as a child, but now with open eyes that can see His wonderful works, the hope that He has given to us, through Christ. He wants me to love this country as much as He does, as much as He loves Ephraim (Hosea 11), so that I will give my all for this country because I love it. And hahahahaha, one more reason why I know God planned for me to be Singaporean - look at my Christian name. Ariel: Lioness of God. Oh boy. Much significance can. The song "We are Singapore" has lyrics that go "We are Singapore, we are Singapore, we will stand together, hear the lion roar". This is how I know can.

I used to question Him so much about why He did not plan for me to be born in the States. Why my eyes aren't blue. Now I know. And what a joke it is that Singapore has become quite Americanized when one looks back on hindsight. But no. Singapore will remain Singapore. Our unique culture will not get lost in this sea of mish-mash. And this is a critical moment for Singaporeans. Will we decide to stay in our country to raise it up or will we flee for our own selfish ways? I know I want to stay. But I dare not boldly say I confirm will. But God, help me to love my country more so that I will stay to fight.