emotionally exhausted

i'm tired of listening.

i'm waiting for someone to listen.
yet i'm tired of saying the same thing over and over. and i'm gonna be tired of saying new things.

i'm tired of realizing that i have no right to be tired of making an old discovery about this other person over and over. I really should stop it. i have no right to.
i'm tired.

God, You're the only one who listens every time.

God, should i do it? So that i'd dedicate myself fully to what You want me to do for this entire season of my life? God, i'm at a junction of crossroads. God, i'm tired of thinking and feeling like this. God, i wanna get out of this vicious cycle. i'm tired of saying. i wanna get up and do something about it.

God, i wanna make this covenant with You and i know the severity and impact of it. God, I know that my own will will never be strong enough but it is You who gives me strength. God, should i? but i'm afraid of being double-minded, of becoming indecisive, if i've already made my decision. Lord, speak to me in my qt.