When I turned 17, Modesty knocked on my door. At first I looked her square in the eye and said, “Go away! You know I need this guy to like me. I have to dress this way. It’s what everyone does.”
Every morning I would slip on a short skirt or tight jeans and those lacy camis that revealed my shoulders, cleavage and most times my bra straps. Modesty aimed to stop me, but I ignored her. I hated her. She wanted to take away my attention from boys, my popularity among girls. She wanted to ruin my life.
Morning after morning I ignored her, but her whispers increased in volume. I began to feel self-conscious and awful each time I pranced out the door in clothing that cried, “Look at me!”
The Heart of Immodesty
One day Modesty turned my face toward God. “True beauty comes from Him, not you. You cannot create beauty with clothing and makeup.”
Wow. That hit me hard. Being an extremist, I immediately raided my closet and threw away everything immodest but kept a few not-so-bad things. A few weeks later, I got rid of everything and started over. Building my wardrobe based on what God thought to be modest and beautiful. Not what I thought.
Not long after, I fell back into the trap. I began dressing flashy. Stylish. High heels. Lots of makeup. New hair colors every week. You name it. I wanted to be noticed.
The heart of immodesty is deeper than a desire to fit in. It cuts to the core of us. Beauty is something every female longs for. We want to be pursued, beautiful and so alluring that our guy never looks at another girl. Right?
But we believe we can create that beauty. If we wear the right clothes, hairstyles and makeup, if we turn heads, if we get attention, then we are beautiful. We succeed. We are worthy of love and romance.
Wrong. Beauty starts with God. He created it. We can try to alter His creation with hair straighteners and curling irons, but He created us and marvels in our beauty when we wake up with no accessories.
Crazy, isn’t it?
When Our Beauty Is Crushed
Now, knowing the truth and feeling it are two different things. Especially with a past that lurks around the corner of our heart. Fathers who abused us. Forgot to tell us we were beautiful. Rape. Molestation. Countless childhood nightmares.
Then there’s middle school. Friends. Being made fun of. Failing to be popular, or being popular and realizing how empty it is. Pressures. Sex. So many things.
And the guys. A big one. We look to them to rank in beauty, but often they hurt us more than anything.
One girl told me her boyfriend said, “Jen, you need to look like that girl. Then I’ll think you’re pretty.”
“That girl” is a celebrity Jen could never look like unless she hired a personal makeup artist and hairdresser.
When our beauty is crushed by fathers, uncles, boyfriends, friends, whoever, we forget what true beauty is and begin striving for fake beauty. Outward beauty.
We are broken. Even superconfident girls are hiding behind a shell. They forget they have something more to offer. A beauty that transcends time.
Meet Modesty
Who is Modesty? Webster describes her as “freedom from conceit or vanity” and “propriety in speech, dress and conduct.”
OK . . .
But who is she really?
She’s passionate about God and love. She seeks to build others up, encourage them and help them find a beauty beyond appearance. When she is worn, she doesn’t disappoint or make others feel uncomfortable. Never causing guys to stumble and lust. She lives and breathes true beauty.
She is subtle and pretty. She conforms to whoever puts her on and displays her beauty far better than makeup can. She doesn’t hide what makes us unique but highlights it, making us confident in every detail of who we are.
She is difficult and stubborn. She does not waver. Her standards can be high. She isn’t a follower. She’s a leader.
She is a great friend but hard to listen to. Her standards are above ours, and when we want to be like the world, she makes her opposition clear.
So Modesty introduced herself to me when I was 17, and we’ve had our ups and downs, but through it all I try to remember that she is here only to help me.
When I get up in the morning the first thing I put on is her, and then I make my clothing choices. Striving to make God smile. Not the world. Not lust. Not friends. Just God.
What about you? Have you met Modesty?
No comments:
Post a Comment