Sanctification Week

This weekend has been... nothing short of exhilarating.

First night of sanctification week on Thursday:
God came so strongly and deeply convicted me. That I cannot overcome those areas of my life that I was struggling in based on my own strength. My inadequacies. Of how terrible they were. Of how far I've fallen short of His standard. And I could never possibly attain His benchmark. I knew that in my mind. But there it stayed afloating. Pure head knowledge. Until that night. It was utterly breaking to know that I cannot do it on my own. It was utterly breaking to know how much I've disappointed God. It was utterly breaking to know that He still loves me despite my ugliness. I thought I could surely overcome this issue. But I can't. If I could, I would have conquered it long time ago. I thought God would punish me in a way that I could not possibly imagined during these 3 days. But no. His grace is so amazing. He brought me to a new level of understanding. That I need to hold onto Him during times when I struggle. That I cannot rely on my own strength and understanding.

Second night:
The topic of marriages. Haha. May seem irrelevant to us young people. But when we were led to pray for those couples who went up to the altar, God placed a heavy burden on my heart for my parents. He made me realize that my mom has been struggling alone all these years, in a marriage that seemed like God has abandoned, and left from the center. I wanted to cry out for my dad. I wanted to cry out for my mom. I want things to be like in the past, like when I was a kid, but even better. I want my dad to be fervent for God again. I want to witness my dad serving for God, like my mom said he did last time. I want God to be in the center of their marriage once again. The reason why they came together and became one. God.

Pastor also talked about the role of husbands and wives. And indeed, it is true can. Husbands have the responsibility of leading the marriage. The husband is the spiritual leader of the two. But more importantly (to me), the wife has the responsibility of being the "helper" (as written in Genesis) for the husband. She has to support him in all circumstances. She has the ability to change her husband for the better (of course not without God). But she also holds the key as to whether her husband will rise or fall. That's when I realized how heavy our responsibility as women of God is. I have the ability to make a man fall to his doom or rise to his pinnacle in the work he does for God! *faint*
Heavy can.

Third night:
Haha all I can say is that this night marks the turning point for our church, signalling a fresh new beginning for FCBC. WOOOOT. God is good.

And now these songs are stuck in my head:

I Will Celebrate

I will sing to Him a new song
I will celebrate, sing unto the Lord
I will sing to Him a new song

I will praise Him, I will sing to Him a new song
I will praise Him, I will sing to Him a new song

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelu, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelu, hallelujah!

I Receive Your Love

Oh Lord, Your tenderness
Melting all my bitterness
O Lord, I receive Your love
Oh Lord, Your loveliness
Changing all my ugliness
O Lord, I receive Your love

O Lord, I receive Your love
O Lord, I receive Your love

And suddenly, I'm reminded of this:

King of Kings

King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Glory Hallelujah.
King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Glory Hallelujah
Jesus Prince of Peace, Glory Hallelujah
Jesus Prince of Peace, Glory Hallelujah.

(Repeat)

Probably 'cos of all the Jewish songs we sang these 3 nights. And all the dancing (the one where you cling to the other person's arms and dance around in circles in jubilee, LOL). And Maurice Sklar's violin.

Suddenly had an epiphany.

Proverbs 22:6
"Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it."

How true. If I was not brought up in a Christian family by the grace of God, I honestly don't know where I could be right now (Reina should be nodding her head right now). This is a sentiment and truth that both of us share, about our legacy as 2nd/3rd generation Christians. And all the more should we be good stewards of what God has blessed us with. All the more should we be putting ourselves out there to serve God.

I don't know why but seems like God keeps turning my head to this truth in Proverbs 22:6 when songs from Sunday school return to my ears especially during these few days. Memories of the past. Memories of Thanksgiving Day when I perform on stage with other church friends. Memories of rehearsing for those performances, and dancing between pieces of blue flowing cloth (meant to symbolize water). Memories of times when I go onstage to receive awards for remembering memory verses, for good attendance, etc. Memories of speaking in tongues at the age of 8 (and then losing it). Memories of a sudden courage that rose in my heart, led by the Holy Spirit to walk down the aisle to the altar to receive Jesus as my personal saviour at the age of 8. Memories of times when I felt so alone that I hid in the toilet to avoid going for the children's session in Galilee Hall. Memories of the first time I sensed God speaking to me with that simple message, "I love you, my dear child." Memories of my yellow Good News Bible, with that sun. lol. Many things have changed since then. But He is still the same faithful God who changed my life forever from day one.